Haze
by ice shredder
Summary: Akouo pressed against his back, a comforting weight in the haze of grief clouding his heart. It reminded him of initiation when she unlocked his aura and their nightly sparring sessions. He never got to thank her for that. Companion to 'Pseudo'. [Vol 3 and minor Vol 4 spoiler warnings] Enjoy!


**Title: Haze**

 **Fandom: RWBY**

 **Author: ice shredder**

 **Disclaimer: Roosterteeth owns all**

 **Spoilers/Warnings: Heavy ones for Vol 3 Ep 12 and MINOR VOL 4 SPOILERS ahead, because I finally watched the trailer/character short and it looks like Jaune might be carrying Pyrrha's shield on his back...and if that's confirmed in Volume 4 anywhere then...FEELS FEELS FEELS EVERYWHERE. This is also a continuation of 'Pseudo' so if you haven't read that first this might not make any sense. One-word prompt.**

 **Special shout out to** **Taiski** **for favoriting most of my works, esp my RWBY ones. Your support is most appreciated! :)**

 **Enjoy and don't forget to review! :)**

 **Summary: Akouo pressed against his back, a comforting weight in the haze of grief clouding his heart. It reminded him of initiation when she unlocked his aura and their nightly sparring sessions. He never got to thank her for that.**

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Jaune leaned against a snow-covered tree with one leg drawn up to his chest, head tilted toward the heavens. The overcast shroud threatening another round of driving cold and wet clothes had finally blown over, leaving the sky a clear dark velvet with millions of stars glittering like diamonds.

Or like pieces of broken glass.

Jaune sighed, watching his breath billow out in a stream of vapors. Felt the weight of Akouo's rounded edge press into his back, a comforting weight in the haze of grief clouding his heart. It was a night similar to this one that brought back painful memories. Ones that no matter how hard he tried, they would be impossible to fight off.

Cinder shooting that mystery girl through the chest with a black arrow.

Running out of the darkened vault to get reinforcements with Pyrrha at his side.

Pyrrha looking back at the tower, an expression of grim resolve stealing through her emerald orbs. The growing unease in his heart as he pleaded with her to come to her senses. There was no need for her to sacrifice herself. _Run and live._ That's what he remembered telling Ruby during their initiation fight against the Deathstalker and Nevermore in the ruins of the Emerald Forest.

And then...the _kiss._

Cerulean eyes slid shut, the memory of her soft lips pressed against his never failed to make his breath catch or his heart throb in pain. She had poured everything into that single kiss.

Love.

Passion.

Regret.

He tasted it all and somehow, it left him wanting more. A strange warmth had begun to spread from his chest through his entire being and it had him pulling her in closer. All the sounds of death and chaos faded away and the only thing Jaune could see in his world was Pyrrha Nikos and the silky touch of her lips on his.

Then it was abruptly wrenched away as she shoved him into a nearby locker. Remembered begging her not to do it, _please Pyrrha please don't do this-_

 _I'm sorry._

He shifted his weight, trying to adjust Akouo so it wasn't digging into his back but cradling it much like Pyrrha had done when she cupped his face in steady, gloved hands. It reminded him of initiation. The way Milo pierced his hoodie just so, not injuring him in the slightest. How he struggled to free himself but unable to do so thanks to the force which it had been thrown. Quietly admiring the prodigious skill of its owner. _She was always saving me. Even from the start. I just never got the chance to return the favor._

At some point during the first week or so on the road, he thought he caught a glimpse of Pyrrha's strong, yet weaponless form standing in the most unusual places. But whenever he stopped for a double take her scarlet hair and vivid green eyes flashed out of sight before he could fully focus his gaze. And sometimes, the young knight believed he heard the melodious notes of her playfully formal voice whisper soft, encouraging words in his ear. One that continued to this very day. Of course, it was strange that _he_ seemed to be the only one who saw and experienced this phenomenon and was amazed the other three hadn't caught on yet.

He stretched his legs and arms, listened to them creak in protest from sitting in one spot for too long. He should probably wake Ren to take over on watch, but that meant he'd have to close his eyes. Jaune found no comfort in the realm of dreams. His sleep was plagued by nightmares, dominated by flaming hair and green eyes and the knowledge she would never see another sunrise.

He'd never hear her laugh or smile or grace him with that sassy smirk on her face ever again except in his memories.

There would be no more late night rooftop sparring practice. No more chances to work on improving his aura and figuring out his Semblance. No more time to tell Pyrrha how he truly felt about her after the Beacon Dance. She'd done so much and he took her for granted. But most importantly, he regretted chasing after Weiss' affections when the girl he loved was right next to him.

He never got to thank her for that.

 _Jaune._

The blonde froze at the beautiful sound of the voice of the girl who loved him, gently whispering in his ear, a constant companion.

No.

It couldn't be her. Not this again.

She was dead.

 _Please. Don't blame yourself._

Tears welled behind his eyelids and he let them fall unheeded, cutting silvery tracks down his cheeks. The logical part of his brain told him this wasn't real. Pyrrha wasn't physically present. That he was just seeing and hearing things that simply weren't there. But his heart couldn't fully accept that the flame-haired beauty was gone, so a fragment of her remained cocooned in his heart and memory.

Hence why he never attempted to push these visions- _or maybe hallucinations brought on by grief_ -away because he needed them to function. Jaune could no longer hold her properly. So this was the next best thing.

"I'm so sorry, Pyrrha," he rasped, hating the sound of his voice cracking on the words. "I-I wasn't strong enough. Maybe if I was...then this never would've happened-"

A gentle finger settled on his lips, shushing him. He didn't bother opening his eyes. This was all part of a twisted routine that was occurring more frequently as the days went past, but again, the blond knight had long ceased to care.

She appeared in the forefront of his mind, still dressed in her combat gear and high heels. The only difference was she no longer carried her weapons or wore her crown. That was securely tucked away in his pack for safekeeping and only handled when he was alone.

 _Shh. Don't cry my love. This isn't your fault. Or Ruby's. It was my decision to go alone. Nobody else's._

Jaune sniffled, trying to stem the salty river of tears pouring out of his broken blue orbs with the back of his gloved hand to no avail. "Pyrrha...how am I supposed to do this?" He whispered thickly. Unaware that Ruby had woken up and come looking for him out of concern upon discovering his empty place around the low-burning campfire. She stood hidden behind a tree not far from where he sat listening to his one-sided conversation. "I can't do this journey without your help."

 _But you can Jaune. I've given you the tools of the trade. What you choose to do with them is up to you. And please try not to take your anger out on Ruby too much. I know she's not me, but she blames herself for not being fast enough to save me. I've...visited her on some nights when I'm not with you and I'm worried. She's hardening way too fast and takes far more pleasure killing Grimm than she used to._

Jaune grunted in agreement. Ruby was getting scarier in her fights. She went off on her own more often and it was due to the fact she didn't want her friends getting hurt when she went on a killing spree.

 _It won't be long before she applies that bloodlust to people._ He felt a cool caress as he imagined her fingers ghosting over his face. _Please make sure you and the others keep her grounded. It won't take much for her to snap and go off the deep end. Especially if more of her friends die._

Jaune swallowed at his partner's request. With the Grimm growing more dangerous and difficult to kill out in the wild, not to mention who or what the group would run into on their way to Haven, this was an extremely tall order. Most of the friends he made might not make it to the end.

But this was _Pyrrha._ He'd do whatever she asked in a heartbeat.

"I'll-I'll...try."

Her gentle, loving smile brought a flicker of warmth to his numb spirit.

 _Thank you, my love. Until we meet again._

He sighed deeply and opened his eyes to see Ruby standing a few feet away from his seated position. Her signature red cloak fluttered in the breeze, rose petals dancing off its back.

"Whatcha doing out here Ruby? It's not time for your watch yet."

The scythe-user shuffled towards him and he rose at her approach, stretching the stiffness out of his muscles. Worried silver eyes flicked up to bore into his blue ones.

"I was worried."

He gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze.

"Ruby, I...um, I wanna apologize."

She cocked her head, confused.

"For what?"

The argument on the path and the harsh words he'd hurled at her earlier that afternoon had been partially responsible for why he couldn't fall asleep. Guilt was eating away at him and it wouldn't be put to rest unless he made things right. Ruby wasn't to blame for what happened to Pyrrha.

It was the woman known as Cinder Fall, the False Maiden who was to blame for everything. And he-along with Ren, Nora and Ruby-wouldn't rest until she was brought to justice.

"For yelling at you earlier. It...was wrong. All those things I said...I shouldn't have said them at all." He ducked his head, shame creeping up his spine. "Can you ever forgive me?"

Ruby laid her hand on his shoulder plate. A small smile curved the defaut severe line her mouth seemed to have fallen into since the Battle of Beacon.

"Of course I do, Vomit Boy. And you're wrong yanno."

Jaune rolled his eyes and groaned at the nickname she'd given him on his first day at Beacon, but he cocked his head at her last statement.

"Uh, about what?"

"That you're alone on this journey. You've got me and Ren and Nora. We need you Jaune and not just for this trip. You've got a special destiny of your own to fufill."

He stared at the younger girl who sounded wiser beyond her years even though he picked up on that a long time ago when she told him what being a team leader meant sitting outside his dorm room after the teams were formed.

"Yeah. I suppose you're right."

She tugged on his arm, urging him back to their makeshift camp.

"Come on. You need to rest. Big day ahead."

He let Ruby lead him back through the forest without protest, sparing a quick glance at the clear night sky.

Somewhere beyond that starry veil in the afterlife, he knew Pyrrha was watching over him and the others. Pictured her smiling in approval when he made amends and apologized to Ruby. He might lose his temper from time to time, but he promised to channel it toward their enemies and the Grimm rather than his friends.

As they trudged through the snow Jaune made a silent vow.

Whatever action he took from this point forward, he wanted to make Pyrrha proud. Or he would never be able to face her when he left the physcial plane behind.

 _I love you so much Pyrrha. Wait for me. I'm gonna have quite the tale to tell you when we meet again._

 **-end**


End file.
